Harry and Izmir's Excellent Blogventure

Egypt totally rocks!!! Tune in to Harry and Izmir's Excellent Blogventure and get disoriented in Cairo, the capital of disorientalism.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Fil Mogamma

I went to the Mogamma this morning. By the Mogamma, I mean the big scary-yet-beautiful Egyptian bureaucracy building where one must venture to get a visa, driver’s license, monkey permit, etc. I have been trying to pick up my visa for several weeks now with limited success. Today was no different, but several amusing things happened which made the day not an entire waste of time.

For one, I had a date. Whenever you need go to a sovietesque-scary place, it is best to bring along someone cute. Waiting in line is more fun that way.

After a couple of hours I was standing along with several other lost and desperate souls, waiting for someone to dig up my passport from under a stack of Applications for Extension of Temporary Residence when the women behind the desk held one up and said “Where is the Israeli who belongs to this passport?” This took me a bit by surprise but I recovered to look around for the brave Israeli who was going to claim his passport deep in the left ventricle of the Arab Republic Of Egypt.

All I saw was a little woman wearing a headscarf standing next to me and attempting to pipe up “me, that’s mine”. Unfortunately for her she was very quiet and polite, which is no way to get things done at the Mugamma. So I, being a strong brave man, and wanting to impress my date, hollered out “Yes, the Israeli is right here!” I said this very loud, all the time pointing emphatically at the nice little Palestinian lady standing next to me. I did not want to cause any unnecessary confusion. In the end, she got her passport. I did not receive mine, but I plan to return next Saturday. I am hoping that someone will show up with a old passport from the Third Reich and I will be able to yell “Yes, the Nazi is right here!”

Saturday, October 14, 2006


It's true. We can be angry and violent. This piece is by my favorite artist, B. Young. It is called Angry Monkey #2. More of his brilliant work can be found here.

A monkey's place in history

Izmir has been excited about this North Korea nuclear test drama. He thinks it is about time the world gets really interesting and violent again.
Monkeys love war. Did you know that? Nothing makes a monkey happier than some serious armed conflict, and Izmir is no exception. I think this stems from the fact that the first domesticated monkeys were made so in order to fight for the kings of Mali against the hostile Eskimo invaders from the north.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Kiss my arsenal

After tiring of throwing poo at the neighbors' children I logged onto the BBC in an attempt to relieve my horrible boredom. I came across this picture of North Koreans dancing in the street celebrating the joyous occasion of their recent nuclear test. My only question is: who are those British-looking folks joining in the hoe-down?

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

More like Al Poosica

You know what makes for a good blog post? Something that is not totally lame. Warsha Shmarsha? I have pulled better stuff than that out of my miniature monkey butt.
I had never thought of it as miniature until I fell out with the Governor Rockefeller and got sent to Sing-Sing.
Maybe some of you didn't get that last joke? Well, I shall elaborate no further.
Anyhow, whilst Dr. Harry was at his yuppie musical love-in, I have been enjoying some excellent Ramadan moselsellat (for all you khowaga out there, that is Arabic for soap opera) (for all you gringos out there, khowaga is Arabic for gringo).
Anyway, it seems that Ahmed is in love with Hoda, but unfortunately her father, Abdel Rahman, has declared that he can only have her hand in marriage if he manages to find the jade monkey before the next full moon.
Good stuff, huh? It's too bad he isn't looking for the jaded monkey, cause that would be easy. Most of us are bitter and cynical by the time we are done sucking at our mother's miniature monkey teats.

Al Moosica

I went to a good concert tonight. It was put on by a theater troupe/band called Warsha. Good stuff.
There's this one dude, Zain, who can really wail. There is also this young woman, who's name I forget. She as well can really wail.
Rock on Warsha. Rock on.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Baby Beluga

I have been working on my "Statement of Purpose" recently. This morning it started to become my "Admission of Lack of Purpose". I hope to turn this startling trend around tomorrow.
Have any of you ever had this problem? Does anyone have any advice?
Last year, for a brief moment, I thought that I had found my porpoise in life. It turned out it was just a plastic dolphin.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

A monkey's lament

So, yeah, there hasn't been a post in a few days. What, you think just cause I'm in Cairo my life is so exciting that I have witty things to say about it all the time? Maybe I spent last night eating banana peels and watching Battlestar Gallactica. What now?

Monday, October 02, 2006


OK, that poster is pretty funny. That's what most of you said, anyway. But some readers, no doubt, were yearning for more.
A meatier piece of commentary.
A thinker bowl of soup.
So here it is folks; Dr. Edward Said's FBI file. All 146 pages of it. Enjoy.


I have noted a request for a picture of the monkey. None are available at this time, but perhaps this poster I found in England will tide everyone over.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

I think he's leaving me for Pepé le Poo

Did any of you guys see that last post? What a load of shit! Not as big a load as I left around the flat when the "good" doctor abandoned me to go hang out with his frenchy friends. I think I'm going to call him Dr. Toad from now on. You know — Frog and Toad are Friends. I'm so mad. I don't think I have anything more to say about this.

A new day

I left Izmir at home today and went to orientation at my awesome new Arabic school. The apartment was pretty gross when I returned, but that is a matter for another post.
I am very excited about my re-entry into the world of higher education, and as a result I don't know if I have anything funny to say about it. The school is a program of the French government and, as a result it is:
a)filled with French people
b)really cheap
c)they sell beer at the cafe
The last two are obviously positive, and I have a good feeling about the first attribute as well.