Harry and Izmir's Excellent Blogventure

Egypt totally rocks!!! Tune in to Harry and Izmir's Excellent Blogventure and get disoriented in Cairo, the capital of disorientalism.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Monkey Day!

Izmir and I are going to a Thanksgiving party tonight. You know; turkey, football, and a few people you don’t really like. Plus a lot of people you do like. That is what Thanksgiving is for me, anyway. Izmir doesn’t like anyone, so in that sense Thanksgiving is no different from any other day for him. He does enjoy carving the turkey, though. Where Izmir comes from, people eat monkeys. Whenever a large dead animal is present he gets kind of smug, because he has managed to avoid that fate. At this point, I don’t think anyone would be interested in eating him, unless they like the taste of old monkey flesh soaked in gin and cheap cigarettes.
A few years ago we were having Thanksgiving at my parent’s house when Izmir got the brilliant idea to hide inside the turkey. He jumped out just as my dad was about to carve it, wearing his fez and smoking a cigarette. Best Thanksgiving ever.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

White and Nerdy

To this day, three different friends have emailed me a link to watch “Weird” Al Yankovic’s White and Nerdy on Google Video. What does this mean? Well, I guess that my love for Mr. Yankovic is well known. As well as my appreciation of awesome pop hip-hop songs. And of course, my general nerdiness.
Unfortunately, my internet connection is not fast enough to watch the video online. I am currently downloading it, though. Izmir is very excited. Which is weird, cause he doesn’t usually like pop music. I think he is just looking forward to the opportunity to make fun of me.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

A bit of verse...

“A monkey’s lament is a lemur’s convent”

Such was the nonsense Izmir was spouting about when I arrived home yesterday morn. It seems he had become enamored of some eighteenth century verse, and was aspiring to imitate its flowery and baroque phrases.
I told him to pipe down and get back to work. We have begun our own company, Izmir and myself. We are in the import-export business, and we are currently preparing a shipment of 500 plastic pyramids to a dealer in Singapore. Izmir has proved himself quite adept at this business, which I am thankful for. Writing worthless trash about imaginary animals has not been paying the bills recently.

“Once over the hill one dost naren’t look back”

What does that mean? Is that even English? I don’t know. I think I need a nap. Or a drink. Or a nap, than a drink, then another nap.
The problem with my going into business is that I frequently hear, in my own head, the voice of my father, nagging me;
“I can’t believe my son turned out to be a capitalist rapscallion. I raised him on a good diet of Marx, Gramsci, and Dr. Seuss. And here he is, becoming rich off the blood, sweat, and post-nasal drip of the working class.”
Then I try to explain that I am running a Fair Trade business but he just kind of looks away and starts humming the Internationale. You see the kind of crap I have to put up with? Disobedient monkeys and eerie surrealist day dreams. I wonder how I stay so sane…

Thursday, November 02, 2006


Izmir and I threw a Halloween party last night. He dressed up as Curious George. Izmir always has the best costumes. He can be King Kong, Curious George, or any number of other famous apes whose names elude me right now. It is a bit more difficult for me. One year he convinced me to be Jane Goodall, but I think he just wanted an excuse to throw poo at me.
It was a great party. I tried to dress as the Pink Panther, but people said I looked more like Bunnicula, the rabbit that sucks the juice out of vegetables.
There were a lot of cameras at the party. My room actually became basically a photo studio for the better part of an hour. I particularly enjoyed this shot, which features my roommate Adam dressed as a communist revolutionary and holding pirate Dina hostage.